“What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate”
Надежда Никифоровна Рогожина, проректор по международным программам, зав. кафедрой лингвистики и межъязыковой коммуникации Самарского муниципального университета Наяновой, кандидат педагогических наук, доцент.
Директор негосударственного учреждения дополнительного образования “World Class-Samara”.
Dear Reader,
This time I would like you to meet Mary Rau Foster again with her Monday Motivating moments, inspirational extracts from the web site on positive thinking. I am sure that we need some things to be pointed to just to say: “I myself thought so!”
Nadezhda
“What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate”
by Mary Rau Foster (USA)
This quotation is from an old Paul Newman movie entitled, “Cool Hand Luke.” I don’t remember much about the movie, but I do remember that one line. This quote can also apply to the following scenarios.
- Mark and Emily agreed to meet for dinner at a restaurant at a particular time on a particular day. Both arrived at the right time, on the right day, but at the wrong restaurant. Each presumed1 that the “agreed upon2” meeting place was the same restaurant location, but it wasn’t and they were aggravated3 with each other for showing up at the wrong place.
- Debra and Skylar were working together on a project. When they came to a crucial stage4 of the project, they realized that an important task had not been completed. Both thought that the other one had responsibility for handling5 the assignment6.
Their erroneous assumptions7 cost them time and delayed8 their project. It also caused unnecessary conflict.
- Zoie’s son, 16-year-old son Ethan, was late getting home from a party. Zoie was very angry with him because she was afraid that something disastrous9 had occurred. She began yelling at him immediately before he was able to explain why he was late. She rebuffed10 his attempts to explain and ordered him to go to his room. The next morning she read in the newspaper about her son’s heroic actions of saving a child who had been in a car accident. He was late getting home because he was helping a family in need.
The moral of these stories...
Whenever we fail to ask for information that will confirm11 our understanding or when we presume to know what another person is thinking or doing, we open ourselves up to erroneous thoughts and actions, which can lead to unnecessary conflict. If we develop the habit of asking for additional information, we may enjoy better relationships and a more peaceful existence.
The habit of asking at least three more questions than you think is necessary may be a valuable one. In fact, if we adopt the “who, what, when, where, why and how” method of questions, we can be assured of making better decisions and taking right actions. It takes time, but so does correcting undesired outcomes12.
I must confess that if I had applied the “ask more questions” methods recently, I would have saved myself some time and frustration13. What would have happened if the people in the above scenarios had applied it as well? How different would the outcomes have been for each of them?
1 to presume - предполагать
2 agreed upon - согласованный
3 to aggravate - (зд.) злить
4 crucial stage - завершающая стадия
5 to handle - заведовать
6 assignment - ассигнование
7 assumption - принятие на себя обязательства
8 to delay - задерживать
9 disastrous - катастрофический
10 to rebuff - резко отвергать
11 to confirm - укреплять
12 outcome - последствие
13 frustration - разочарование
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Mary’s book “Motivating Moments” makes a great gift for you, your family and your friends. This 211 page book, with illustrations, is a guaranteed morale booster, as well as thought provoking and inspirational. To learn more and to order online, visit 
